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20 May 2008

Tomorrow I start my final class of my college career. Is it odd of me to say I don't want to? This is my last interior architecture studio class- and it's my thesis/capstone project. For those who don't know, studio classes involve interior design/architectural/product design projects; we're given a client, a problem, a site, and are set loose. This summer class I got to choose my project, which is a plus, but I honestly don't really feel like doing it. I suppose part of it is the fact that I'm not going to be working in the interior design field, but the real problem is me. When I was choosing a major my senior year of high school I was thinking money. I wasn't anticipating getting married for a while (I wasn't the most popular girl to date in high school) so I wanted to be able to support myself. I went on to choose UNCG as my school because the program was awesome, and here I came. But then the unexpected happened. I met a boy, we fell in love, and we got married 8 days after my 19th birthday. Suddenly, all my plans were useless, and my priorities changed a LOT. Yet, unfortunately, the program is set up so that you have interior architecture classes really heavy at the beginning of your college career, and do most of your general ed classes towards the end. I was no longer content to spend all my time working on projects, however much I may enjoy them- I wanted to concentrate on my new family. But to change majors would mean starting over and I didn't want to do that either. So, I stuck with it. Then my third year I got pregnant and my priorities changed even more. My advisor convinced me to take off the semester I was to give birth- I knew I couldn't take off completely, so I just took general ed, and it was an amazing semester. Things got hairy around exams, but it was really pretty manageable. Then I went back to the program and it wasn't so fun. I just didn't have the energy for it anymore. I wanted to be a mom, not a designer. But I survived that semester without any scars and came back to school optimistic last fall. And then the Loewenstein exhibit began. It was ok at first, I really enjoyed the class, the project, being part of something major. But as time went on and the late nights and all-nighters started adding up, I started getting tired of it all. I was ignoring my family so I could get my work done- but it was for a good reason I kept telling myself, and even believed. Then the exhibit opened. I was so burnt out I didn't even enjoy the opening, or the exhibit itself. Once I was recovered and ready to admire my work, it was too late. The exhibit was only up for three weeks and I had spent those weeks catching up on sleep, housework, other schoolwork, and spending time with my family. I don't even have my pictures anymore because my hard drive crashed. And despite all the heartache over that exhibit, I learned a very valuable lesson. I learned that it didn't matter. None of it did. My family is what matters. Once this life is over, I won't get to take my exhibit or fabulous drawings or any of that hard work with me. I get to take Rob and Max. They're the ones who matter. So as I begin this next class, I want to make sure I remember that. Whatever designing I do in the next couple of months won't mean a thing when compared to my two favorite people on this earth.


  1. Awww. What a sweet post. I love that photo too. You are so right! Don't sweat the things that don't matter in the end!

  2. what a great post! good luck, and keep reminding yourself...this is the last one, it's almost done!!