11 December 2008
08 December 2008
This just happens to be my favorite. It makes me smile every time I look at it.
What do you think?
05 December 2008
02 December 2008
18 November 2008
11 November 2008
And second, I'm sure everyone is wondering how we're (specifically me) doing. Well, we're doing pretty good, and I feel great. Both physically and spiritually.
The day after it all happened Rob and I went on a date and entrusted Max to my sister. Afterwards, we went to her boyfriend's sisters' where they all were to pick him up. Leah (my sister's boyfriend's sister) had just had a baby 8 days before so I got to hold precious Allie and I was amazed that there was no pain. Despite my feelings on losing the baby, and knowing I was ok, I was still a little worried how I would be around newborns. But I didn't need to worry. Yes, I was looking forward to having my own, but there is no pain or anger or hurt associated with babies or the ones who had them (or are having them). A little sadness, but no pain. And I realized that night that the healing process was complete. Someday I will have my own newborn again, but for now I am content to hold others'.
So, physically I am amazing. I haven't felt this good in a long time. It's kind of funny- having a miscarriage, especially 12 weeks into the pregnancy, makes you realize just how much a pregnancy (and recovery from giving birth/having a newborn) takes out of you. Once you actually have the baby, it's a gradual recovery, while with this it was almost instantaneous. Once the cramps stopped, I was great. I have energy again, and MOTIVATION again (something I have been struggling to muster for awhile now). And I am enjoying it. I really don't think I've felt this great since high school. Iarc (short for Interior Architecture) is insanely demanding, so I've felt like I was dragging for the past five years and I would just tell myself to wait for graduation, everything will be good then. Then I graduated and the month of August was a little crazy and then I got pregnant so I never felt the sense of relief or release I was anticipating. But now, I feel it. And it feels soo good.
06 November 2008
We got pregnant late August/early September and both Rob and I had mixed feelings about it. It's easier said than done to completely let go of a plan, but we gradually accepted, and got excited, about having another baby, two bedrooms and all. But life is ironic.
Once we finally wanted the baby, it wasn't to be. Yesterday we found out that our baby is dead. It was a very sad day; lots of tears were shed. Yet lots of comfort has been found as well.
I feel very strongly that a fetus possesses a spirit. Max started getting very clingy not long after I graduated, and I didn't know why until I found out I was pregnant. His clingy-ness coincided with my conceiving. He knew that there was a baby there before I did. And Rob made the comment "Children are closer to the spirit," which makes perfect sense. Max could sense the spirit entering the baby before any of us could. I also feel very strongly that it was a boy, our Nicola. I read an article not that long ago about miscarriage and the idea that a spirit will come and go and come again when the time is right to be born, something I had never thought about before. And I know that Nicola came, but this body was unfit for him, so he left. But he'll be back when the time is right.
I am incredibly grateful for my membership in the church. I know who I am, and the plan Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ have for me. Even though I wanted this baby, losing it has made me appreciate more what I do have: my family. Max's hugs have never felt so good, Rob's gentle hand on my back has never brought me such comfort. And I have never felt so strongly the love of an ever-present Heavenly Father.
I also had the thought while waiting around doctor's offices yesterday, that if our Heavenly Father knows everything, and so knew that this body wasn't going to work out, why did I have such strong promptings to have another baby? And I think it was a trail of my, and Rob's, faith. The world today does not encourage couples to have babies unless they have large houses, and large incomes, the best health care, and all those worldly things we think a baby needs. And in a way, that was exactly how Rob and I were thinking. The Family: A Proclamation to the World says "We declare that God's commandment for His children to multiply and replenish the earth remains in force... Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness." A baby does not need all the things of the world, it needs a loving home where a father and mother nurture and teach: things that neither income nor social status determines. Even though Rob and I, in a worldly sense, were not prepared to have another child, in a spiritual sense we were. I am so grateful that we recognized that. And I am grateful that we passed this test.
20 October 2008
jax harmon photography from Jax Harmon on Vimeo.
So, Jax Harmon Photography is officially open for business! But the website is still under construction, so in the meantime the above video is there to show you what I do.
The purpose for this post, however is to announce that I am having a holiday special on family sessions! This Saturday, October 25th, and Saturday, November 1st I will be at Guilford College in Greensboro at 10am and will stay for however many sessions I need to. The price is $50 per family and that includes the session, a CD with 10 images, and photo-editing. For an additional $50, you can get ALL the images from your session.
If you are interested, you can email me at jaxharmon[at]gmail[dot]com. I will be doing them in one hour increments (10am, 11am, etc.). The last one on the 25th will be at 1pm, but on the 1st I can stay as long as I need to. So just let me know what time(s) you would prefer on which day. (And if you can or cannot be flexible with the time, let me know- if I can, I would like to have them one after the other so that I don't have a session at 10am and then have to wait around until 4pm to do another)
And just a fyi: I just recently got new photo-editing tools and used them on all the images in the video. If there is an image of you in there and you would like an updated copy, just let me know.
14 October 2008
But in the meantime, I was just wondering: do all the rest of you women out there have as much trouble with your hips as I do? I have no idea if I had this problem before Max, but it just might have been because I didn't have a child yet. But I find myself knocking him over with my hips ALL THE TIME. And it's not like I swing them into him or anything, it's completely unintentional. Perhaps it's because our children always seem glued to our sides or maybe he's just the perfect height, but every time I walk by him I manage to knock his head or hit his arm if he's drinking or something. And I really don't think my hips are THAT big, I mean, I can't even find a pair of jeans small enough for heaven's sake. So I don't what the deal is- am I alone in this?
09 October 2008
01 October 2008
And luckily I'm not that sick. I have good days and bad days- I've thrown up a couple times, but I've also had a couple of days where I felt good enough that I forgot I was pregnant. Although those days haven't happened recently.
It's funny, 'cause I really don't remember much of my first trimester with Max. I do know I would throw up every morning- but that didn't start until I was 10 weeks along. But I have no idea if I felt crappy the rest of the time or if I threw up and was good for the day. And I don't remember being this tired. Someone told me before I even got pregnant with Max that they always knew they were pregnant when they started sleeping all the time. Well, I would be tired and sleep all the time anyway because of school, so that didn't help me know I was pregnant. But with this one, that was definitely the case. I sleep ALL THE TIME. So if I blow you off, it's probably 'cause I'm sleeping, not because I'm sick.
So yeah, I'm just hoping and praying that the nausea goes away when I hit the second trimester so I can get things done (I have NO motivation to do anything but lounge around the house right now). But even if it doesn't, I know I'll at least enjoy being pregnant a little bit more because the baby will be moving and I'll start getting a belly (the fun parts!).
In the meantime, I am taking it day by day and taking advantage of when I do feel good.
29 September 2008
19 September 2008
1. I collect things. Like mis-tint paints. Every time we walk into a hardware store I am drawn to them and ultimately leave with at least one (same with the paint chips).
2. I could look at Russian men all day long. Well, most of them. The other day I found a picture of Putin in a magazine and asked my sister "Isn't he ridiculously good-looking?" And of course she told me heck no and I was weird. I think it's the cheekbones.
3. I have to have LIGHT, especially if I'm working on something- hence the 5 lamps on my desk. If I had my way, I would have glass walls in my house and halogen lights in every room for when the sun went down.
4. Once I start something, I can't stop. Like books or quilts or whatever project I happen to be working on- I get it done in as short a time as possible, ignoring everything else happening or need to happen.
5. I am constantly rearranging the furniture in my house. I am never content to just leave it be. And it usually happens between the hours of 7 and 11pm- those are my inspiration hours.
6. I HAVE to sleep with a blanket or something on me. I just can't sleep laying somewhere, I have to have something over me, I don't know why.
And I tag Molly, Emile, Kristie, Jessica, Rachel, and Angelica (you're supposed to list your six quirks and tag 6 people too)
14 September 2008
"Come here, the fish is acting weird." So he comes and he looks and says "I think he's dead." And I'm like "No, he was just flopping around a second ago, that's why I called you in here." And Rob is like "I think he's dead."
I still didn't believe him, and he left and after a couple of minutes I realize the fish really is dead and I witnessed his last moments in life. Oh well.
On a different note, Emily came to visit and no she is not a fish nor is she food, she is my best friend. We have been friends since we were about seven- that never sounded impressive to me before, but now that we are 23 it does. We don't get to see each other as much anymore because I live in NC now and she still lives in VA when she's not out at BYU-Idaho or on a mission, so we had a good time. We had a couple of catching-up conversations-good food eating-more talking-movie watching-trying on jeans-hair-cutting days. It was nice. But she had to go home yesterday and now I miss her. I can't wait until we see each other again! (Hopefully soon)
10 September 2008
02 September 2008
29 August 2008
Afterwards, because Max was such a good sport sitting in the car while I was off galavanting in fields, we went to the Creamery to get some ice cream! Seriously, next to Carl's in Fredericksburg, this is the best ice cream ever.
Here is Max's "give me the goods" face:
I got him a bowl, but he insisted on eating my cone instead.
And Max, the creamery store, and that amazing sky (although by this point it was getting late and it wasn't as good as before).
It was fun to be spontaneous.
28 August 2008
27 August 2008
05 August 2008
30 July 2008
It feels so good.
After the show I had to pack up all my stuff and take it home since I'm going to the beach tomorrow. Right before my last trip to the car, I stopped to look at all the projects one more time. Everyone else was already gone so I had the place to myself and as I stood there then walked up the stairs I started to feel a little sad for the first time. Emotional is not a word used to describe me during these last few months of school, but tonight it definitely applied. Now, don't get me wrong, I am still over the moon about being done, but this has been my life for the past five years so it's a little sad to end it. I had some really good times and found my soul mates for life, as well as grew into the person I am today. So, goodbye iarc. I have some wonderful memories. I'll miss you.
28 July 2008
24 July 2008
And Tuesday Max REALLY wanted to go outside, despite the fact it was so humid it felt like you were swimming when you walked. So I let him run around in just a diaper and shoes, the horrible mother I am.
19 July 2008
And this is my friend Shelley playing with Max and Shaelyn:
14 July 2008
The sad thing is, they're still there.
13 July 2008
11 July 2008
08 July 2008
2. DIAMONDS OR PEARLS? neither, i don't like jewelry, it's a waste of money
3. WHAT WAS THE LAST FILM YOU SAW AT THE CINEMA? indiana jones!
4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW? of all time? probably seinfeld or everybody loves raymond
5. WHAT DO YOU USUALLY HAVE FOR BREAKFAST? cereal or a bagel or nothing
6. WHAT IS YOUR MIDDLE NAME? datus- it's a family name, ok?
7. WHAT FOOD DO YOU DISLIKE? ginger
8. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CD? i have a lot, but the juno soundtrack is up there, alongwith melee, and meganoidi
9. WHAT KIND OF CAR DO YOU DRIVE? a 2002 subaru outback sport, manual (i can't stand automatics)
10. FAVORITE SANDWICH? roast beef on REAL bread, the kind you have to tear with your teeth, with lettuce, mayo, sprouts, cucumbers, green peppers and onions.
11. WHAT CHARACTERISTIC DO YOU DESPISE? fakeness
12. FAVORITE ITEM OF CLOTHING: right now i'm pretty in love with my keens, but i also love jackets and carigans
13. IF YOU COULD GO ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD ON VACATION,
WHERE WOULD YOU GO? Svalbard, Huangshan mountain, and lots more
14. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR BATHROOM? plum and mint and orange
15. FAVORITE BRAND OF CLOTHING? whatever fits
16. WHERE WOULD YOU RETIRE TO? probably the washington dc area, it's my favorite
17. WHAT WAS YOUR MOST MEMORABLE BIRTHDAY? i don't like the attention, so probably the one where i stayed home and did what i wanted to do
18. FAVORITE SPORT TO WATCH? i don't like sports. some people don't believe in organized religion, well, i don't believe in organized sports.
22. FAVORITE SAYING? [insert name] you fat lard!
23. WHEN IS YOUR BIRTHDAY? june 22
24. ARE YOU A MORNING OR NIGHT PERSON? a morning person if i can wake up early enough (like 5 am), but if i miss that deadline, then i am a night person
25. WHAT IS YOUR SHOE size? 4 1/2 to 5 in womens, 3 in mens
26. PET? a cat and a fish, but once they die i'm done
27. ANY NEW AND EXCITING NEWS YOU WOULD like to share? i'm almost done with college!!! july 30th baby!
28. WHAT DID YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU WERE LITTLE? a baker or a hair stylist or a designer
29. HOW OLD ARE YOU TODAY? 23
30. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CANDY? reeses peanut butter cups
31. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FLOWER? right now poppies
32. WHAT IS A DAY ON THE CALENDAR YOU ARE LOOKING
FORWARD TO? august 11th i will be an official college graduate, and the day my new camera arrives!!!
33. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE? i think i had some fruit snacks before i went to bed last night
34. DO YOU WISH ON STARS? no. they can't make them true.
35. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? hmmm. scarlet red or maybe burnt ochre
36. HOW IS THE WEATHER RIGHT NOW? kinda sunny, already looks hot and humid.
37. FAVORITE DRINK? vanilla coke
38. FAVORITE RESTAURANT? i think don, it's AMAZING
39. SIBLINGS? one older brother, two younger sisters
40. FAVORITE DAY OF THE YEAR? summer solstice- i love sunlight! someday i'll be in the arctic for it, and the sun'll never set.
41. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TOY AS A CHILD? probably barbies
42. SUMMER OR WINTER? i like winter, but not here- it doesn't get cold enough to actually bundle up or snow
43. HUGS OR KISSES? both, and lots of them
44. COFFEE OR TEA? neither
45. CHOCOLATE OR VANILLa? vanilla
47. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? probably the other night when we watched pirates 3- i always cry in movies
48. WHAT IS UNDER YOUR BED? nothing- the bed sits on the ground, the way i like it to
49. WHO IS THE FRIEND YOU HAVE HAD THE LONGEST? emily
50. WHAT DID YOU DO LAST NIGHT? read some, and helped rob fill out some paperwork, and slept
51. FAVORITE SMELL? fresh baked bread
52. WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF? the dark, as only someone from the city can be
53. SALTY OR SWEET? both at the same time
54. HOW MANY KEYS ON YOUR RING? 7 i think
55. HOW MANY YEARS AT YOUR CURRENT JOB? 5 as a college student, almost 22 months as a mom, and i'm about to start a new career in august
56. FAVORITE DAY OF THE WEEK? thursday
57. HOW MANY TOWNS HAVE YOU LIVED IN? technically, none- i've only lived in cities, and 3 of those
58. DO YOU MAKE FRIENDS EASILY? once i muster up the courage to talk to them
05 July 2008
I just got these shoes a week or so ago and I LOVE THEM. They are the absolute most comfortable shoes I have worn in my life. And, my feet can breathe. And they go anywhere. They may just make an appearance to church. (Just kidding, but they really are that comfortable)
28 June 2008
19 June 2008
So, this Saturday, the 21st of June, we are making our as-often-as-possible pilgrimage to IKEA. Because IKEA is 5 hours away, we will be taking orders if there is anything anyone needs from there. Granted, we will just be taking my wagon, no truck, so please keep it to small furniture or accessories. If you would like to check out IKEA's stuff, go here. And, for those who would like to make the pilgrimage as well, we would love to have you. As long as you are as dedicated as we are; we are leaving at 5am from our house. So, if you are interested in making an order or coming with, just email me!
17 June 2008
1. My favorite pizza toppings are bacon and onions.
2. I have to buy my bras in the little girl section.
3. The nurse thought I had downs syndrome when I was born, but the doctor squelched that pretty quickly.
4. My feet are two different sizes, and so are my hands.
5. I want to adopt children from all over the world- as many as we can afford to.
6. I have a dark speck in my eye (it's part of the coloring) and if I'm looking at something white up close I can see it- it looks like a cluster of cells, like what you see in a microscope.
I tag Molly, Shelley, Lizz, Erika, Kristie, Benjiman (haha!).
13 June 2008
My studio buddy showed this to me today and we both had a good laugh... I think they are desperate for either money or attention, or both. I especially love it when they break it down close to the end. Can't have a music video without that. What's worse, is that people LIKE it.
09 June 2008
05 June 2008
He uses the big boy swing now.
He can play video games with his dad. Granted, he doesn't really know what's going on, but by randomly pressing buttons he managed to score a touchdown. And he's only 20 months old. We're going to have to really restrict his video-game playing.
He's only going to keep getting older. So sad.