little gems

As a photographer, I take a lot of photos. Unfortunately, clients get top priority so most of the time any pictures I take of my family never get looked at again after I upload them. But the other day when I was looking for a picture of Rob to put up here, I came across these. These were a couple of the pictures I took the day I got my new lens, right after I opened the box. So here is Max in all his (or more like my) glory: sweatshirt over his pajamas, bed head, rough-looking haircut, and snot. But I know I will treasure seeing him like this years down the road when I may only see him once in awhile, and only when he's dressed and groomed.


do you think those cheeks need pinching too?

my happy place

I've been having a really hard time recently (thankfully, all that's over with) and anything that made me happy I clung to with everything I had. This song was one of those happy things (I had it on repeat in my car and I can't tell you how many times it played). Rob and I never officially chose a song as "our song," but I think if we did it'd be this. It was originally sung by Frank and Nancy Sinatra, but I just love this version: I think Robbie Williams and Nicole Kidman should sing together more often. I just love her harmony and the way she say stupid (something I only picked up on because of the number of times I listened to it).

and a side note: I would've posted the music video instead of this boring thing, but seeing as how it is Robbie Williams, the video is a little risque for a family blog. I guess when you're as good as he is, you can do anything you want (and he does).

it's May 26th...

And somebody turned 30 today!
Happy Birthday Rob!



stay tuned for the celebrations later this week...

a funny thing.

Today was my due date.

But I'm kind of glad I don't have a baby. Sad, yes, but the idea of having an infant right now is kind of foreign. I know a big part of it is the fact that I was no longer pregnant so there was no point in getting myself ready for a baby (the beauty of nine months: you get a little bit of time to brace yourself), but at the same time it's not our time yet. I think we're definitely getting closer, but we're not quite there yet.

And, of course, there's always the fear and worry that we might not be able to have any more (my track record isn't great when it comes to this baby stuff: I had to have a medical intervention with Max and then had a miscarriage), but then I reprimand myself because I had just one miscarriage and that's perfectly normal and doesn't mean a thing and pre-eclempsia has no rhyme or reason to it and I may never have it again.

But the funny thing is Nicola is close. I feel him here with me at random times, usually when I least expect it but really need it. I don't know if I'll ever get to meet him in this life (I really hope I can) or if I'll have to wait until the next, but for now this is enough. And despite the fact my arms ache to hold my own precious newborn again, I'm content to wait (for now).

So here's to the hope of getting pregnant again. And having it stick.

yesterday was rough

As moms (especially of toddlers), we all have days where we have to physically separate our children from us so we don't murder them (at least I do). Last week I had a lot going on so Max took the opportunity to make some messes... and then some more this week. So the house was absolutely crazy Tuesday and so was he, and then I get out of the shower to find him on my worktable THROWING everything on it off of it (pins, pens and pencils, erasers, safety pins, thread, you name it) and that was the last straw. I had to get out of the house and, preferably, get away from him. So we went to my parent's house and because my sister is done with college for the summer and no one at that house was sick of him, I left him there (he actually didn't want to go home with us on mother's day, he stood with my family to say goodbye and turned around and went back inside). And I was free until the next evening! So I folded all the laundry (we had a mountain of it that took up half our bedroom) then went to bed with the intention of getting up and tackling the rest of the house. Well, things didn't go as planned. I woke up feeling rough (Max had been sniffly) and couldn't drag myself out of bed until 11, and I was forcing myself out so I could get things done. But before I could start cleaning I needed to do a couple things on my computer, which involved some printing. If I'm not printing something nice, I do a fast draft because a. it's faster and b. it uses less ink. However, what I didn't realize was that the tray that catches the paper was pushed in, and my printer is on a shelf above my computer, which means it is right above my head. And when you print with fast draft, the printer shoots that paper out as fast as it can. So it did, and since there was nothing to catch it, it shot straight at my eye. That's right, I got hit in the eye by a stupid piece of paper going pretty fast. And. it. hurt. BAD. I fell out of my chair it hurt so bad. And continued to hurt for the next while. Once the initial pain subsided and I was able to see again, I decided I was still going to get something done. I WAS NOT GOING TO WASTE THIS CHILD-FREE DAY! Well, it ends up that my cornea got scratched when I got hit, and I discovered this because I cleaned and re-arranged the living room ,which involved a lot of dust, which aggravated it. So this is what I ended up looking like:

You have no idea how hard it was to put up that picture. Anyway, so I had to wear a patch after getting my eye flushed to keep it from getting irritated again. Which was great, because the pain went away (it got bad because of that stupid dust), but AWFUL because I was wearing a patch. Now, wearing a patch is not so fun because you look weird (Max actually kept trying to pull it off my face when he got home: I had to tell him "ouch" and "owie" before he finally got that it was like a band-aid so instead of trying to take it off he's point at it and say "ow") but it causes headaches and nausea because it throws your equilibrium off. And man, was I nauseous. BUT, happy day! Today when I woke up I had GINORMOUS eye boogers, but my eye doesn't hurt and I can see! So I'm hoping this means I don't have to wear a patch today. Oh, and I'm going to have to clean the rest of the house with Max's help (read: he goes behind me and makes messes of what I just cleaned up). But at least I had a break from him so I'm ok now. And I am glad that at least I didn't have to deal with him while I couldn't see, I'd just hoped for pain-free get-a-lot-done child-free day.


And Whitney, I hope you appreciate this picture. You are Superwoman to me for wearing these as much as you had to. If I hadn't been in so much pain, there would be no way, no how.

it's raining today and you know what that means.

I'm moody. And tired. And having a hard time being happy. But something that makes me happy every time I think about it is the little package of goodies I got in the mail recently. My friend/former professor Suzanne has a fabulous blog called an open sketchbook (she is a FABULOUS artist) and she had a little giveaway recently where the 200th follower of her blog would get some goodies. And I was miraculously her 200th follower! When I signed up for it, I thought the quota had already been filled but I wanted to be her follower anyway (I'm new to that whole thing...) but it ends up I was it! So here's what she sent me:

I first met Suzanne when she was a grad student in the Interior Architecture Department at UNCG (I was just a lowly undergrad), and then she was hired on as a professor once she finished her degree. So she was one of my professors (and was FABULOUS at that too) last summer for my thesis. Well, the department just had a trip to Falling Water last month or so and I complained to Suzanne about them waiting until after I had graduated to finally plan a trip I would be interested in (the ones while I was in school were either too expensive or to places I'd already been a thousand times like Richmond or Baltimore). So she got me a little book from there that is full of PICTURES! Up until I got it, I'd only seen a couple of pictures of it, so to see the interior in a lot more depth is fantastic. Of course, it only makes me want to see it even more than before, so I think maybe a trip up there in the fall is in the works...

She wrote me a sweet note on the back of a print of one of her incredible drawings. Every time I see her work I'm inspired to start sketching again... And how cute is her business card?

Lastly, she sent me one of her sketches. It was the last thing I pulled out (after I'd fawned over the little book) and took me completely by surprise. And I, of course, cry every time I look at it. It's a drawing she did during the Loewenstein exhibit weekend, a moment I had forgotten about completely. For those of you who don't know, it was a TOUGH semester. I had a really hard time trying to balance everything in my life because there was so much work involved planning and executing this exhibit. But the one absolutely fabulous thing about it was how close the class got. This drawing is of Suzanne's husband Edgar holding Max during one of the presentations that weekend: Max was our class "mascot," he was just as much a part of the whole experience because he was there for a lot of it. It embodies what I miss most about school: my iarc family.