26 March 2013

trying to find balance.

Life has been a whirlwind lately. There is always so. much. to. do. And as much as I try to keep all the balls in the air, a few always get dropped.

Recently a friend posted on facebook about how life with three kids was suffocating; between school, after school activities, homework, housework, cooking, etc. there wasn't really any time left over for dates with friends or leisure activities. And I can attest that's pretty accurate. But while she said suffocating in a positive-ish way, a lot of the time I feel suffocated in the negative way.

Everyone has needs. The kids all have their needs. Rob has his needs. The dog has needs. I have needs too. But no matter how hard I try I can't meet them all. So I feel spread thin a lot, and feel like I'm failing at my job. I read this article toady and found myself tearing up because it describes my life right now so perfectly.

Thankfully this is not everyday. I do have good days where I get lots accomplished and everything seems to go smoothly. But the days I feel like I need everyone to go on vacation and just leave me at home alone so I can get stuff done have been happening a lot recently.

I should point out right now that I am not depressed (don't worry!), just overwhelmed. And everything that fills up my time is good stuff, nothing to worry about there. It's just as an extreme introvert too much human interaction can feel suffocating. (that includes interacting with my children) Perhaps that's why I'm a night owl; I really relish the time when everyone else is in bed and I can work without anyone bothering me. But at the same time too many conversations with a six year old and a two year old makes me a little desperate for some adult interaction. There's always that battle between child vs. adult conversation and people vs. alone time.

And since it doesn't look like things are going to be letting up soon, or maybe even ever (I have a feeling this is just what happens as your children grow), I will keep on seeking that ever-elusive balance. I know I may never find it, but it's all about the journey, right?

I think wishing for more hours in the day or the ability to run on little sleep will never stop though. It would make things so much easier.

Anyway, hugs to all of you out there struggling too!

I do know enough that if someone looks like they have it all together they are probably just really good at hiding the crazy. We're all in the same boat.

Right?

3 comments:

  1. I understand that feeling! Sometimes I put way too much on my plate. Hang in there!

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  2. I totally get it. I mean, absolutely. That's why you and I get along! We both like being alone. And the older the kids get, the harder it is, the louder it is, and the more there is to do. I've had to force myself to take care of me, and it's hard but manageable. *hugs*

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  3. Hang in there girlie! And remember that those three little ones are such an amazing blessing. And keep telling yourself that one day you will miss all the craziness!

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